


Alive

by pidgy_writes



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Body Injury Mentioned, M/M, One Shot, Post Season 4, but then there's tons of fluff to make up for it, death mentioned, keith - Freeform, klance, lance - Freeform, someone gets slapped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 21:26:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12374421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pidgy_writes/pseuds/pidgy_writes
Summary: After the battle for Naxzela - back aboard the Castle of Lions - Keith has slipped into his quarters unnoticed, determined to clear his head before facing their new situation with Lotor. Still shaken up by his own recent decisions, Lance's arrival at his door forces them both to face their own difficult feelings...





	Alive

**Author's Note:**

> I'm quite certain there will be a lot of works addressing this same scenario... but, i just knew i had to get my own feelings out about it. Regardless of how things may shape up in season 5, these were my first feelings the moment episode six ended.

He breathed in slowly - deeply - he felt very alive.

Keith pulled back his hood and tugged at the collar of his body armour as his lungs filled with the cool, recycled air of his sleeping quarters. Every muscle in his chest felt tight and restricted as his lungs swelled; the sound of his own breathing was almost deafening through the silence around him. Body aching dully, he tried to exhale slowly, but his breath wavered uncontrollably and it sent a hitch into his throat that he squeezed his eyes against. Now was not the time to come undone. Every impulse inside of him was a frantic mix of piqued nerves yearning to run and scream and fight - but also to cry, collapse, and fall into his bed, exhausted and mollified. He wanted to close his eyes for a very long time. But he had to keep his head clear long enough to get changed. To get clean. To see everyone… To see them alive and well. 

There was ringing in his ears. The battle had been so loud, but there was more than that… An echoing inside his head… Lance’s voice over the comms… “We’re not gonna make it.”

He pressed his knuckles into his ears, increasing the pressure and the humming to try to drown it out.

In all of the excited, wild, confusion after their narrow escape from Naxzela, and with Lotor’s bewildering appearance, Keith had managed to board the Castle of Lions with only Allura taking note - and she gave him only a quiet nod and let him carry on. There was so much that needed his attention. He had so many questions. So much he needed to say. But he also needed to clean himself up and quiet his mind alone… He couldn’t face this business with Lotor while his nerves were all screaming. Shiro had told him the key so many times: focus. He needed to close his eyes and think. Even just for a moment.

Unclipping his armour felt exhausting, but his flesh was screaming for freedom from the heat and sweat within it. As he peeled his arms free of his Blade uniform a groan crept up behind his tightly clenched teeth. Cold air washed over his tingling skin as he rolled his tight body armour down over his torso, causing goosebumps to crawl over his arms and a deep shiver to run down his spine. He felt, suddenly, very sensitive and exposed - but he allowed himself only a moment with his own weak feelings before pushing them down, deep beneath the tightening sensation in his stomach, as he stepped out of his armour and kicked it aside.

Looking down at his body wearily, Keith ran his hands over his exposed sides. There was pain in his ribs as his hands slid shakily over them, and sickly yellow patches - blooming with blue and purple - ran all over his body like a roadmap of every hit, fall, fight, and scuffle he’d endured in the last several weeks. Some of them he could recall the origins of, but others were just a part of the dull, haze he felt behind his eyes. He knew the healing pod could spirit away most of it, but some of them would live on in his mind long after they’d been erased from his body.

A tense, prickling feeling, in his brain seemed to buzz with the reminder that not very long ago, he had thrown away the idea of this very simple moment. Of standing here - in his quarters - thinking about the future.

Alive.

_*knock knock*_

Keith’s heart jumped in his chest at the sound of soft rapping on his door.

“One second.” he called out, regretting the scratchiness in his voice as he fetched a clean pair of sweatpants from his drawer and pulled them on hurriedly. “Come in.”

The automatic doors hissed open and Lance’s tall frame stepped cautiously across the threshold into his room. He seemed to hesitate as the doors sighed closed behind him.

“Lance.” Keith spoke his name quietly; unsure of what to say.

“Hey, Keith…” Lance tried to smirk, but the way he cast his eyes down softened the edges of his words in a somber way.

“Hi.” Keith wanted to step towards him, but could only sway side to side, crossing his arms over his bare chest, suddenly very aware that he wasn’t wearing a shirt.

“I… asked where you were… Allura said you were... back. Sorry if I’m interrupting.” his hands were gesturing as inarticulately as his words were coming out, “You, probably wanna go have a shower and lay down for a bit!” he started to laugh uncomfortably, and turned back towards the door.

“No!” Keith reached out unconsciously, his voice sounding harsher than he meant. “N-no… it’s okay. Stay.”

Lance paused, back towards him, “T-that was some fight, huh?” he could hear the forced smile in his voice. “We sure showed them though, right?” he turned quickly, pulling his arm up as though he were flexing his muscles, but as he grabbed at his bicep his arm dropped to his side heavily.

“We did, buddy. We really did.” Keith crossed the small space between them and put his hand on Lance’s shoulder. He wanted to meet his eyes and smile, but neither of them looked up. Shiro had often put his hand on Keith’s shoulder in this same way; only, when Shiro did it, it felt strong and comforting… He couldn’t help but feel like his own hands were somehow very weak.

The silence was heavy.

“Your ribs…” Lance reached up slowly and his hand closed gently against Keith’s left side, just below the huge bruise and light cut he’d earned himself back during his intel mission with the Blade of Marmora.

“Oh, it’s nothing, really.” he close his own hand over the wound, fingers brushing Lance’s as he pulled away, “The situation was scarier than the cut.” he tried to laugh, recalling his tight escape through shards of space debris, as he looked up at Lance.

But Lance wasn’t laughing back. His mouth was drawn up with worry and his eyes were full of sadness. They were still as bright and blue as ever, but they were watery with repressed tears a tinge of something which he suspected was anger.

Keith bit his lip, furrowing his brow, and tried to look lighthearted, “It’s no big deal, reall-”

Sharp pain spread across the left side of his face. His eyes welled up, and it took him a moment to register what had happened. Lance had slapped him.

Keith shook his head sharply, “Lance! What the quiznak, man!”

“No! Fuck you, Keith!” Lance swore fully, as he shoved Keith’s shoulder harshly. His voice cracked mercilessly as tears began to poured down his cheeks. Teeth gritted, he began to rail, “Matt told us! He told us what they saw! What you did before Lotor showed up! What you were going to do!” He blinked wildly, his words spitting, tears clinging to his long, dark eyelashes. “And I believe it! I know you would do it! I know you, Keith!”

“Of course I would do it!” Keith yelled back at him, lips peeled back over his teeth, trying to tighten his face against his own emotions, “And I’d do it again, right now, if i had to! I heard it! I heard your voice on the comms, Lance! I couldn’t let you all die if there was something I could do to stop it!” he shoved Lance back even harder than he had hit him.

Lance stumbled, but he didn’t back down, “Don’t be so fucking selfish, Keith! We need you!”

“SELFISH!? The universe NEEDS Voltron, Lance! And Voltron doesn’t NEED me! How many millions of people would have died if that ship hadn’t been destroyed!? There is a bigger picture here!”

Lance growled angrily; a coarse, frustrated sound boiling out of him as he turned around quickly. He ran both his hands back through his hair, entwining his fingers behind his head. His shoulders were pulled up tightly, but they were still heaving against the force of his tears.

Keith rubbed his hand against his mouth roughly, as though doing so could somehow hold back all of the things he wanted to say. That he needed to say. That he thought he’d never get to say. But Lance broke first...

“...I-I’m sorry, Keith… I'm so sorry…” his voice was barely a whisper as he shook his head, breathing out deeply through his nose, “you’re not selfish… You’ve never been selfish… not even for a moment… You always… put everybody else above yourself… T-that’s the problem...” his voice was fading, and he stepped away towards the door again, “...it’s me who’s selfish…” his hands came around and closed over his mouth. “I don’t… You…”

“...Lance…” Keith stepped up behind him, and grabbed Lance’s elbow gently, slowly forcing the taller boy to turn towards him. His arms fell to his sides and his eyes were closed tightly against his tears as he cried quietly, biting his lip in frustration. Keith slipped his hands up Lance’s smooth cheeks, and rubbed the rough pads of his thumbs under Lance’s eyes.

“I…” Lance muttered weakly, eyes blinking open, trying their best to focus on Keith’s “...I don’t want to defend a universe that you aren’t in…”

“L-Lance...”

Keith cracked.

He pulled himself roughly against Lance’s chest, and when long, warm, arms closed around him tightly, Keith’s tears poured out of him like a burst dam.

“I couldn’t let you all die!” Keith sobbed into Lance’s shoulder, “I couldn’t let _you_ die, Lance!” He gripped at the back of that soft, familiar, olive jacket and cried his eyes out. He couldn’t bare how scared and frustrated he still felt; how incredibly overwhelmed. He should be dead right now; but he wasn’t. So many times he’d been willing to do whatever it took to defend the greater good… He never wanted to hesitate. He thought he’d always been ready… and yet… he was so relieved to be alive right now.

“Please don’t think… that I want to die…” Keith choked out his words, “I only wanted to save everyone! To save you!” He pulled at Lance’s coat, desperate to feel the fabric of it under his fingers; to record the sensation of it into his skin. It was hard to raise his voice above a whisper as he cried, “I wasn’t scared to do it, Lance… I was scared of what would happen if I didn’t…”

Tears came on harder as Lance’s grip on him tightened.

“If I’ve ever…” Lance’s voice wavered and hitched as he spoke, and he tried in vain to clear his throat, “If I have ever said I hated you, Keith… You have to know it's always been because I knew you were stronger than me… braver than me…” His fingers pressed hard into Keith’s back, palms wide and hot against his cold skin.

“You idiot…” Keith ground his forehead into Lance’s shoulder, wanting to hit him, “don’t say that… Please...” He tightened his grip around Lance’s neck, but gave up any other contrary words that were waiting on his tongue. Instead, he just breathed deeply the familiar scent of Lance’s skin… clean and fresh... like the whisper of an ocean he’d long since forgotten standing next to - and he wished for a moment that they were there now… wherever it was… even if it could only be in a dream. But the press of Lance’s hands held him firmly in this moment, strong and steady against himself as they hugged each other tightly through their tears.

Slowly though, heavy sobs gave way to heaving hiccups and deep, shaky breaths; yet still, neither one of them let go. Lance buried his nose into the soft hair behind Keith’s ear as he entwined his fingers possessively into the long, black, locks at the back of Keith’s neck that he so loved to mock.

“I’m so happy you’re alive…” Lance whispered, his breath warm against Keith’s shoulder.

“Me too...” he sighed, meaning those two simple words so dearly. He turned his face into the side of Lance’s neck, his nose and lips brushing against the other boys soft skin as he squeezed himself against him more firmly again.

Keith closed his eyes and let himself be completely enveloped by both Lance’s body and the undeniable vibrancy of his presence. He sighed deeply, utterly exhausted, yet so awash with comfort that it dug down deep inside his bones, slowly sapping away his pain and fears. He wished he could feel this sense of peace forever. The rhythm of their breathing softened as they held one another, both overcome with relief and a deep, undeniable, weariness…

War. That’s what they were tangled up in. But the tangle of eachother’s arms seemed enough to hold that reality at bay for now, and keep it from crushing them alive.

Lance spoke up again, slowly, “I know that all the wild things you do… are because you want to help people... to protect their happiness…” he sighed quietly, his voice beginning to strengthen, “But I want you to place the same kind of value on yourself as you do on others. I’d do anything in my power to protect you, Keith… You know that right? You’re worth it.”

Lance pushed back from their embrace - hands wrapped around Keith’s upper arms - staring deeply into his dark eyes; pleading and honest. “I talk a big game… but I know I’m just outta my depth most of the time. I know it better than anyone else. Still… There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to-”

“Please. No, Lance. You’re not… not at all.” Keith’s heart stumbled in his chest and he couldn’t keep his face from softening. Smiling. “No matter what I might say… You know that I trust you, right? You’ve never done anything but what you thought was best for everyone. You’re there for me when I can’t even be there for myself… You… help me see… more clearly.” they both smirked.

“I miss you when you aren’t here to fight with…” Lance’s face lit up in an embarrassed smile that he tried to bite back; his perfect, white teeth raking over his lips.

“I miss feeling like there’s anything in life that isn’t a fight.” Keith sighed, trying not to stare at Lance’s mouth, “But… you’re one of the things that reminds me WHY I want to fight so hard in the first place…”

Lance blinked, hard, lips parting like he had something to say~ but he swallowed it back. “I do what I can!” he declared instead, flashing his trademark grin and finger guns. The sudden levity caused Keith to laughed in spite of himself and he shook his head as he rubbed his hands up and down his, now cold, arms.

“Oh, here!” Lance whirled his jacket off in a movement too smooth not to have been rehearsed, and draped it around Keith’s drawn up shoulders.

“I have my own jacket you know.” Keith shook his head, trying not to be too amused by Lance’s ridiculous gallantry.

“But mine’s already warm.” he stepped in close and flipped his hood up over Keith’s head. It was far too large and slipped down over his eyes as Keith groaned, lightheartedly, while slipping his arms into the very long, very warm sleeves of Lance’s coat.

Keith turned his face up into the low-hanging hood that cover his eyes, “Well? How’s it look?” he smirked into the darkness, blinded by the heavy fabric, trying his best not to fall into a sleep-deprived laughing fit.

“Just awful!” Lance laughed out loud.

Keith was grinning as he shoved back the hood awkwardly, hands half caught-up in too-long sleeves. “Yeah~ ye-”

But he was cut off by a new sensation. A shock to the system - not unlike the slap to the face he’d received just a few minutes ago - only this was… different. This was… more surprising.

Lance’s hands were against his face again, but his touch was gentle. His thumbs were warm against the corners of his mouth - but not nearly so warm as his lips… soft and flush against his own.

A kiss.

Keith’s eyes went wide, but all he saw were beautiful, thick, dark eyelashes closed before him. Lance was kissing him and his heart had only just woken up to what his brain was already realizing and it began to beat wildly within his chest. A galloping kind of beat, more arresting than the way his heart had ever raced in the heat of battle. A sigh welled up inside of him as his eyes fell shut; the tight sensation which had been binding up his stomach giving way to the soft, undeniable, flutter of butterflies. His cheeks felt burning hot and he reached out to grab at the fabric of Lance’s shirt, pulling their bodies closer together.

Keith felt, suddenly... very wonderfully... alive.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I hope you enjoyed it. Please feel free to come visit me on Tumblr at pidgy-draws.tumblr.com and see the piece that goes with this work! https://pidgy-draws.tumblr.com/post/166440350036/alive-this-the-the-full-version-of-the-piece-i
> 
> fan art by kenshins-soul.tumblr.com - http://kenshins-soul.tumblr.com/post/166656436303/klance-fanfic-alive-i-read-a-well-written-fanfic


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